I want to show up more for myself. There have been so many nights where my mind wanders and I’ll find myself thinking about this site and how I want to have a home for my art that’s not instagram etc. I think about how it’d be dope to put together a small photobook, I think about the inspiring creatives around me who are following their intuition and making their art unapologetically. I still don’t know what this site is really about or if there’s a set focus, but then again this is art and I’m just doing this to share. It feels like I’m gradually awakening from a sort of trance and starting to really sit with the important question of how I want to be more intentional with the things I create and how to share them. Either way I’ll keep snapping and making things. I just hate when I start thinking about art as a means to an end or a deliverable, etc. when I’m forgetting about the joy part of it. I don’t have to have it all figured out. Even if I never figure it out, at least I got to share more stuff and have fun in the process. What if I never write another blog entry or do anything with this? It’s not that serious and I’m just proud of myself that I sat down to log in to this and try to show up. All that’s left is possibility. Lately one of the things I’ve been enjoying is walking around midtown with my half frame camera at my side. I love getting the photos developed and seeing the natural ways that the film is impacted by me and how I loaded the film, accidentally over/underexposed it, or other textures were created somehow for reasons that are beyond me. It just feels good to have it by me and I had forgotten how nice it was.
